Change

I realize this may be obvious to anyone who has read anything I've written, or who knows me, but I dread change. I abhor the idea of it. I don't want it to happen. I like things the way they are. I want to learn the rules and do well at the game. But yes, I know the rules change as does the game and I know I can't hate the playa but rather I can only hate the game. But still. I read the other day the greeks thought that anything that was circular was part of the spiritual realm. The sun circles the sky, as do the moon and the lesser planets. I drive to work each day, come home, and drive back the next day, then come home, so hey, even driving to work can be a spiritual experience viewed in this circular light. Predictable. you know, intelligible that doesn't require intuition. I want to know when I'm supposed to be at work, when I need to take Dylan to scouts or drum lessons, and I want things to carry on 'normally' and 'predictably'. But the incidental seeps in. Plans change. Appointments get moved. The inertia I've developed going in a certain direction is suddenly interrupted and I have to take a new, different path in order to arrive at the new destination. For one thing, I want to know where all the fuss is. Why is everyone in such a dang hurry? The planet is going to continue sweeping out equal distances in equal times about the sun for a virtual eternity. We're not going anywhere new for a long time. So why all this motion and commotion? Where do we think we're headed in such a dang hurry? Hello? There are no new continents for us to conquer. We are the new world, folks. It doesn't get any newer or brighter than this. It's time everybody slowed down and looked inside, the last great frontier. It's time for us collectively to take a breather. Think about why we do things the way we do them. Think about things that don't change and are eternal. I mean, you might lobby for political change, but you're either going to get a monarchy, an oligarchy, a republic, a democracy, or a despotic state. We've had all these already, so why not we just chill for a bit and enjoy what we got, folks. I will admit there is, inside me, this hint of my own mortality, and that I only have so many days left on the planet, and what do I want to see changed. I mean, deep down, I feel something does need to be changed, but I don't yet know what. Every once in a while I ponder, how will I live on and what will I leave behind. First and foremost, my son. I am trying my best to raise the boy to be a contributor, not just a looker onner. And I am trying to inculcate him with the western liberal values I think are important. A good religious training. A good schooling. An interest in the arts. An interest in people. But yeah, there's something more deep down I feel I need to be doing, but I just haven't found it yet. In the meantime, I'll keep contemplating the fixed stars in the firmament, the perennial philosophy, the esoteric christianity. I expect some day I'll wake up and the lightbulb will go on, and 'click', I'll know what change needs to be made. But in the meantime...